How Nude Beaches Work | Stuff You Should Know Podcast (Transcript)
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Length: 48 mins
Welcome to Stuff You Should Know, from howstuffworks.com
Josh Clark: Hey and welcome to the podcast. I‚Äôm Josh Clark, there‚Äôs Charles W. Chuck Bryant, there‚Äôs Jerry. This is Stuff You Should Know, the totally nude edition.
Charles W. Chuck Bryant: [Laughs] Gross.
JC: You‚Äôre looking good.
CB: Well, I think you‚Äôre sort of kidding. [Laughs]
JC: [Laughs] Only time will tell.
CB: You want to break the news?
JC: Go ahead.
CB: Yeah, lost another tooth.
JC: I didn‚Äôt want to mention it.
CB: So here‚Äôs the story because I know people are interested.
JC: Everybody likes this tooth saga of yours.
CB: In my dental woes.
JC: It‚Äôs riveting but it also‚Ä¶ people feel for you, you know?
CB: Yeah, I think so and I think the dentists and oral surgeons of our audience get a kick out of it.
JC: This is the thrilling part for them.
CB: So I was on vacation, as you know, Isle of Palms, South Carolina.
CB: Bought tons‚Ä¶ Well not tons, pounds and pounds of seafood to cook and was having a great week grilling fish and scallops and shrimp.
JC: Nice. So you went to the local seafood market that‚Äôs just one big long counter of seafood and it‚Äôs super cold inside?
CB: Yeah. [Laughs]
JC: I love those places. There‚Äôs always a few bottles of Tony Chachere‚Äôs Creole seasoning.
CB: Oh, and the local stuff like, ‚ÄúHere‚Äôs the crab boil, in a Ziploc, that we make.‚Äù
JC: Yes. I love those places. Nothing makes a beach vacation more than a visit to the local seafood place.
CB: And I will even shout out Simmons Seafood and Mount Pleasant Seafood.
JC: They‚Äôre gonna send you a box of shrimp under refrigeration. [Laughs]
CB: [Laughs] I bought a box of 100 oysters while we were there.
CB: And we had oyster happy hour every night.
CB: And I learned to shuck oysters like a pro.
CB: And I made my own version of Frogmore stew one night.
JC: Dude, can I come on vacation with you guys next time?
CB: [Laughs] We do it right, man.
CB: I bought probably 7 or 8 pounds of shrimp, 5 or 6 pounds of scallops, stone crab claws, king crab claws.
CB: Flounder, snapper, salmon, you name it, dude.
JC: Do those guys have a lien on your house now?
CB: No. Oh, I did spend a ton of money on this stuff.
JC: I‚Äôll bet. [Laughs]
CB: the other thing that we enjoyed was the dips, like crab dip and shrimp dip and salmon dip. Anyway, everything‚Äôs speeding along, it‚Äôs the second to last night and I make my own version of Frogmore stew, which is the low country boil, basically, of Charleston, and I bite‚Ä¶ We have these crostinis that we baked and the one tooth that I‚Äôve been saying is gonna go, that got hurt in college and has been loose for, whatever, 20+ years.
CB: And I‚Äôve been afraid that my daughter‚Äôs gonna kick it in one day; I was just counting down that clock. I bit into a crostini, felt the crack and immediately was like, ‚ÄúThere it goes,‚Äù and Emily and my friends were like, ‚ÄúNo, really?‚Äù I‚Äôm like, ‚ÄúOh, yeah. I know that crack.‚Äù [Laughs]
JC: That sucks.
CB: It does suck.
JC: Did it hurt at all?
CB: No, it never hurts.
JC: Well, that‚Äôs good.
CB: That is the one good thing. I finished my meal, very gingerly eating on the‚Ä¶ I‚Äôve learned how to eat in the back of my mouth like a Neanderthal.
JC: You use your eyes like a frog. They just go inside your skull and push the food down.
CB: So I made an appointment the next day; I called around. It was like do I go home or do I tough out the rest of the vacation here and be stressed and go home and do it, which means I probably can‚Äôt get in till Friday, or do I ruin part of a day, my final beach day, doing this locally? And so I decided to go in and get it done there and 2 hours out of my day was all I wasted.
JC: Oh wow, that‚Äôs pretty good.
CB: Not bad, so big, big shout out to Apex Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery.
JC: And janitorial services.
CB: Of Mount Pleasant, and Doctor Charlotte Marvel, she was great.
JC: Was she marvelous?
CB: She was. And, you know, when I get it done here, I go under twilight sleep, which I don‚Äôt feel a thing and it messes me up the whole rest of the day; I‚Äôm just groggy and in bed and I didn‚Äôt want to do that. I was like, I‚Äôd like to enjoy the beach and go out to dinner tonight. We had reservations at this great place on our final night, the last night dinner out deal and she said, ‚ÄúWell, I can just inject you if you‚Äôre okay with needles,‚Äù and you know I‚Äôve long talked about the needle in the gums as the worst thing. And she said, ‚ÄúWell, this will also be needle in the roof of your mouth,‚Äù and I was like, ‚ÄúAll right, I got to do it.‚Äù And she stuck me in the roof of my mouth and my eyes just started running water and I literally said, ‚ÄúI‚Äôm not crying. That‚Äôs just a reaction.‚Äù [Laughs]
JC: [Laughs] Nice.
CB: Yeah, it was fine. I mean, it numbed up so much I didn‚Äôt feel a thing and it was kind of interesting being awake for once during this procedure of extraction and bone‚Ä¶ What do you call it?
JC: Destruction? No?
CB: Bone grafting.
JC: Oh, yeah.
CB: Not destruction.
JC: Yeah, because I‚Äôve learned, when they take out a tooth now, the best practices are you immediately graft bone to it because you lose it so quickly.
CB: Pocket protection is what it‚Äôs called.
JC: [Laughs] Yeah. That‚Äôs awesome.
JC: That is so nerdy awesome. I love it.
CB: But man, it is a rough procedure, they are so rough. And now I know why they knock you out because they don‚Äôt want you to know how rough they are with you.
CB: I felt like I was getting assaulted.
JC: Yeah? Yeah, they don‚Äôt play. Dentists don‚Äôt play.
CB: And that‚Äôs not to knock Dr. Marvel; she did great. I mean, you got to get in there and do it, you know?
CB: So anyway, I was literally on the beach two hours later with a gin and tonic.
JC: That‚Äôs great, man.
JC: That is really great. Good story. Story had it all.
JC: Had food, had surgery.
CB: Yeah, the beach.
JC: Dentist with a great name.
JC: The beach, yeah, the whole thing.
CB: And also, this also means, for people coming to see us on tour for the remainder of the year, I‚Äôm not even bothering with the insert tooth.
JC: Thank goodness because I had to sit there with it right next to me.
JC: Staring at me during each show.
CB: [Laughs] No, I‚Äôm used to it by now. I‚Äôm just gonna bubba it up for the next nine months or whatever.
JC: [Laughs] They‚Äôre gonna love it. We should start charging double for tickets then.
CB: We should.
CB: So thank you for indulging that story.
JC: Well, it leads to a burning question that I‚Äôve been trying to ask this whole time. Were you nude on the beach at any point?
JC: No nude beach at Isle of Palm?
CB: No. I thought about, during a nighttime ocean swim, doing it al flagrante. Is that how they say that?
CB: But then I thought, ‚ÄúYou know what? I‚Äôm being sort of brave swimming in the ocean at night anyway I‚Äôm not gonna have things exposed.‚Äù
JC: There‚Äôs something really creepy about swimming at night in the ocean particularly.
CB: Yeah, agreed. But I did it and it‚Äôs great.
CB: It‚Äôs really like‚Ä¶ I think that‚Äôs part of the exhilaration is, ‚ÄúI don‚Äôt know what‚Äôs out here.‚Äù
JC: Yeah. I guess as long as you say, ‚ÄúAnd I don‚Äôt care, I‚Äôm just gonna enjoy myself,‚Äù then it would be enjoyable.
CB: Yeah, but I did keep saying, ‚ÄúBut at least I‚Äôve got my pants on.‚Äù
JC: [Laughs] Right.
CB: Not pants. Well, I did have pants on. I had tuxedo pants on. [Laughs]
JC: I‚Äôll bet there‚Äôs a lot of‚Ä¶ You what?
CB: I had tuxedo pants on, as is per tradition at Isle of Palms.
JC: Oh, okay. To cover your junk from the sea turtles?
CB: Yeah, that‚Äôs what you do at night; you swim in the beach in tux pants.
JC: Right. So that‚Äôs almost the exact opposite, then, of a traditional nude beach, which is what we‚Äôre talking about.
CB: Have you ever been to one?
JC: I have.
CB: Did you go nude?
JC: No, I went and visited. I just went and looked for a second.
CB: Oh, you‚Äôre one of those guys.
JC: Yeah, no, but I wasn‚Äôt like, ‚ÄúOh,‚Äù and poking people with a stick or anything like that.
JC: I just want to see like, ‚ÄúOkay, what is this?‚Äù And I‚Äôll tell you what really drew me over to look. Umi and I were down in Florida and there‚Äôs a nude beach, it‚Äôs a clothing optional and, I believe, unofficial nude beach at the Canaveral National seashore.
CB: I have been there.
JC: Okay, yeah, that‚Äôs right.
CB: We‚Äôll share our stories.
JC: Okay. And we drove down, at one point, just to kind of see and, sure enough, there was a woman walking around just wearing shorts and that was it. But what really got me to go check was we saw this girl, who must have been 17 or something, and she was totally clothed, fully dressed not even wearing a swimsuit; she was just dressed. And she was coming back from the beach with her hand over her mouth and her eyes like the size of bread plates and her mom was sitting there laughing at her, waiting at the car watching her comeback like this and I was like, ‚ÄúI got to go see.‚Äù So I went and looked and I was like, ‚ÄúYep, there‚Äôs a couple naked people, they‚Äôre all dudes and, well, I‚Äôve seen the nude beach now.‚Äù But at the same time, I was like, ‚ÄúI would love to just go nude at a nude beach.‚Äù
JC: But the more I did this research, the more I was like, ‚ÄúI could take or leave it.‚Äù I have no problem and probably would still like to go nude at a very secluded nude beach, but I get the impression that public nude beaches‚Ä¶ And I don‚Äôt even think I would enjoy a nudist resort or a nude beach. It would just be a remote deserted island.
JC: Not because of any shame or anything like that, but because I just think that that would be the way that I‚Äôd most enjoy the experience of just being nude out there on the beach. You know I mean?
CB: So you just want to be nude on the beach with just you and your wife?
JC: Right, yeah.
CB: And that‚Äôs it.
JC: Yeah. You know, just hanging out.
CB: You want to own your own beach.
JC: I guess. [Laughs]
JC: I think that‚Äôs what I‚Äôm getting at. I‚Äôm hoping a wealthy listener will send us one.
CB: So here‚Äôs my experience with that very beach, was that Playalinda or Klondike?
CB: All right. So my deal was, many years ago, I did a long, like 3 month, out west trip with my best friend, Brett, and we started in Atlanta and said, ‚ÄúAll right, where should we go first?‚Äù And this was pre-internet when you‚Äôre doing book research, and I said, ‚ÄúThere‚Äôs this place in Florida near Canaveral that‚Äôs called Klondike Beach,‚Äù and I said, ‚Äúand I don‚Äôt know if this is true, but what I read is that there is a law enforcement vacuum there because no one‚Ä¶‚Äù There‚Äôs some overlap with counties and national land where there‚Äôs a space where there‚Äôs no law.
JC: Yeah, there‚Äôs supposedly a place in, I think, Yosemite National Park that‚Äôs like that too.
CB: Well, yeah, I‚Äôve heard that stupid story where you can kill somebody and get away with it.
JC: Right. Is that not true?
CB: Well, I don‚Äôt know. I don‚Äôt think this is‚Ä¶ I remember reading that article and they would get you somehow.
CB: But I think there wasn‚Äôt‚Ä¶ I don‚Äôt think it wasn‚Äôt no law, but there wasn‚Äôt‚Ä¶ Technically, there was no legal overseer of this one area, and that was Klondike Beach, and there were hippies smoking weed and nudists and I was like, ‚ÄúThat‚Äôs where we should start.‚Äù [Laughs]
CB: I have no idea what drew me because it wasn‚Äôt like I was going for either one of those things.
JC: That sounds a bit like a place called Wreck Beach in Vancouver, where it‚Äôs not like there‚Äôs no jurisdiction or a questionable jurisdiction; it‚Äôs just really hard to get to.
JC: There‚Äôs like 400 steps down to the beach.
JC: So apparently, the cops, a long time ago, said, ‚ÄúWhatever, you guys can do whatever you want there.‚Äù
CB: Right, ‚ÄúWe don‚Äôt care.‚Äù
JC: So not only is it a nude beach, it‚Äôs like a drug-addled, drunken beach. But, apparently, it‚Äôs a lot of fun. But, supposedly, they started cracking down on it recently and it‚Äôs not as fun as it once was.
CB: Well, I do remember actually what drew me was you can camp on the beach there, which is sort of rare to‚Ä¶ It wasn‚Äôt a campground; there‚Äôs like backcountry camping on the sand and you‚Ä¶ There‚Äôs not a ton of places in the States where you can do that.
JC: Yeah, that sounds kind of funny, actually.
CB: It was great.
JC: Waking up to the sound of waves and things like that.
CB: It‚Äôs wonderful.
CB: And we did go down there and we did camp and it was a great way to start the trip and we did‚Ä¶ There was this dude walked up to us, this‚Ää‚Äî‚Ääand of course, I think this is usually the story‚Ää‚Äî‚Ääthis probably 50-something year-old man, butt naked, walks up to us just starts a conversation.
JC: Oh, really? So I got a lot of differing advice from doing research on this.
JC: so the guy started a conversation with you.
JC: What did you do? Did you go, ‚ÄúHey, Bob, good to meet you. Nice penis,‚Äù like that Saturday Night Live sketch?
CB: No, I think we just tried to treat it like a normal conversation, which it was.
JC: I guess what I‚Äôve been hearing different things on is that, at nude beaches, you will possibly be surprised by the standoffishness of the nude bathers. You might be expecting free spirits like Bob, the guy you met, right?
CB: Yeah, I think the deal is‚Ää‚Äî‚Ääand we will be corrected through listener mail‚Ää‚Äî‚Ääbut I think if you are clothed, they may be a little more standoffish. But from what I understand, if you‚Äôre not clothed, that‚Äôs all kind of part of the community. And we should do a larger one on nudist at some point.
JC: I could not agree more. I had an idea, but I had no idea how lengthy and long-standing the nudism movement, or the naturism movement I should say.
CB: Yeah, naturalists. From what I understand, they‚Äôre very much a community and that‚Äôs the whole point, is to normalize it to where it‚Äôs just like talking on the beach with anybody.
CB: Like it‚Äôs not any different than being clothed and that‚Äôs their whole bag is, ‚ÄúHey, this is how we come into the world and we have all shamed each other with our bodies over the years to where we have clothed ourselves,‚Äù and of course, you know me, grown up Southern Baptists, I have a very weird relationship with nudity.
CB: To the point where I‚Äôm like, ‚ÄúYeah, man, what‚Äôs the big deal? Europeans have got it right. It‚Äôs just your body, who cares?‚Äù and then the other half of me says, ‚ÄúOh my God, put some clothes on.‚Äù [Laughs] You know?
JC: ‚ÄúDo you want to go to hell today?‚Äù
CB: [Laughs] Right. And it‚Äôs not even that, it‚Äôs just I guess I‚Äôm kind of shy.
JC: Yeah, but I‚Äôm sure it‚Äôs ingrained shyness too.
CB: Oh, yeah for sure.
JC: from an upbringing like that. So you definitely hit on something, right? So when you‚Äôre talking about the naturist movement, if you go to in naturist resort, like a nude beach that‚Äôs part of a naturist resort where you have to, say, be a member to get in or something like that.
JC: Yes, you‚Äôre going to find people who are very happy that you‚Äôre there and they‚Äôre very happy to be naked and everybody‚Äôs very happy that everyone‚Äôs naked, right?
JC: But you‚Äôre also probably going to encounter something like compulsory nudity to where if you‚Äôre there, you have to be naked.
JC: They don‚Äôt want anybody come along and be like, ‚ÄúWhat‚Äôs this all about? What are you guys doing over here? Shake your moneymaker for me,‚Äù you know?
CB: Yeah, they‚Äôre not into that.
JC: No. So they have to have their own set-aside resorts that‚Äôs their own place; it‚Äôs like a private area. But say, like a different kind of beach, like a clothing optional beach where it‚Äôs a public beach that allows nudity but it isn‚Äôt compulsory, that‚Äôs when it seems to be kind of like Paradise Lost for the naturists, historically speaking.
CB: Well, there‚Äôs a culture clash going on.
JC: There definitely is.
CB: You know?
JC: Yeah, and it seems like just about every country that has beaches has nude beaches and if they are public nude beaches where clothing is optional, it seems like the naturists who are actually there to just enjoy being naked, it has nothing to do with sex, their kids are running around naked, the whole family is there, it‚Äôs a very family-oriented naked beach, tend to lose control of it because outside elements usually come in, start partying, having public sex, and then, all of a sudden, this nude beach gets a terrible reputation and the government steps in, local people complain and usually, when they do, it‚Äôs successful and the government steps in and nobody can be naked anymore and it‚Äôs ruined for all the naturists.
CB: Yeah, and that is not the same thing at all as topless beaches that you find in Europe and in some places here in the United States. I went to one of those too, and I mean you call it a topless beach; it was, I think, it was just a beach, you know? I think a lot of the beaches in Europe are topless; it‚Äôs not a big thing.
CB: And we saw ladies with their‚Ä¶ With no bikini top on.
CB: And, of course, being a kid, I was young; I was like, ‚ÄúWahaaa! Hey!‚Äù
JC: You‚Äôre like that wolf in the cartoon where his jaw just hits the floor.
CB: But I was respectful because I knew, even then, you don‚Äôt want to ogle somebody because that‚Äôs probably not too cool.
CB: But then, even as a young guy, it normalized and I was like, ‚ÄúOh, well. This is just a body part, it ain‚Äôt a big deal.‚Äù
JC: Yeah, yeah. After you turn, I don‚Äôt know, 19 or 20, it‚Äôs really easy to become desensitized to that kind of stuff.
JC: You know? So let‚Äôs take a break man.
CB: That was a lot of good set up there.
JC: Yeah, that was a lot of set up.
CB: Teeth and penises and‚Ä¶ [Laughs]
JC: [Laughs] Right.
CB: [Laughs] All kinds of things.
JC: Boobs, the whole shebang.
JC: We‚Äôll be right back, everybody.
JC: So, Chuck, you‚Äôve mentioned it a couple times and it seems like anybody who even basically knows about nude beaches tends to think of Europe.
JC: And for good reasons too. There was a survey in 2016 that surveyed, I think like 90 different countries or something like that, that was a pretty extensive survey, to find out what the attitudes were toward nude sunbathing on public beaches.
JC: And they found that Austrians, the Austrians, I really would not have guessed the Austrians and I‚Äôm not misspeaking Australians. I mean the people from Austria.
CB: Do they have a shoreline, Josh?
JC: I don‚Äôt know.
JC: I don‚Äôt know.
JC: I wish I did, but I don‚Äôt know. At any rate, they‚Äôre fine with nudism. At the very least, I‚Äôm sure they have sandy lakes. They‚Äôre fine with nude sunbathing at the beach. Something like 76% of Austrians say it‚Äôs ‚Äúabsolutely acceptable‚Äù to sunbathe in the nude in public. It used to be Germany was the champion of being cool with nude sunbathing.
CB: On their famous, very famous, shoreline.
JC: yes, in the North Sea. But they fell to second place; 72% of German say it‚Äôs absolutely acceptable.
CB: And you‚Äôre sure it didn‚Äôt say Australians, right?
CB: Because they‚Äôre way good with it. Okay.
JC: Yeah, I know. Well, Australia has a rollercoaster relationship with nude beaches. I think it depends on who‚Äôs in charge of the culture at any given point in time.
CB: Oh, really?
CB: Well, maybe, while we‚Äôre there, we‚Äôll be in charge of the culture for a short time.
CB: Nudity everywhere.
JC: [Laughs] Man.
CB: Until Chuck gets grossed out.
JC: Our shows about to get raucous.
CB: You never know, a nude show, how about that?
JC: So‚Ä¶ No, no, absolutely not.
CB: [Laughs] No, I mean the audience, not us.
JC: So I‚Äôm still not comfortable with that either.
CB: Well, that‚Äôs how they say to‚Ä¶ The reason to say that is because‚Ä¶
JC: It‚Äôs like a 2 Live Crew show.
CB: [Laughs] They say to picture your audience in the nude if you‚Äôre nervous.
JC: I think they say underwear.
CB: Oh, okay, got you. I remember that Brady Bunch, that‚Äôs all I know.
JC: [Laughs] So I don‚Äôt know Australians.
JC: But I do know 18% of Americans say it‚Äôs absolutely acceptable sunbathing in the nude.
CB: That seems about right, pretty low percentage. That‚Äôs what I‚Äôd figure.
JC: Well, you know who had an even lower percentage? It‚Äôs Italians. 71% of Italians say they are not okay with having somebody sunbathe nude by them on a public beach.
CB: That surprises me.
JC: It surprises me as well, but such is the way. But they‚Äôre kind of an outliner as far as Europe goes, and Europe actually, again, have some of the earliest nude beaches around. This article says that the first one was in Bordeaux, in France, that started around after World War 2, but I actually saw footage of a nude beach in Georgia, the country not the state, dating from the 1920s.
JC: So as far as nudity goes, Georgia‚Äôs even more progressive than France, apparently.
CB: I don‚Äôt know about progressive. I think, sometimes, it‚Äôs just, you know, freaks are gonna let their flag fly.
JC: No, you got it, you got it.
CB: And if you‚Äôve got a group of them together, I don‚Äôt care if it‚Äôs 1920 in Georgia, then they find each other, they‚Äôre gonna do it. I don‚Äôt think that necessarily means that Georgia was super progressive, you know I mean?
JC: Oh, okay. I see what you mean.
CB: Or maybe it does, I don‚Äôt know, but I‚Äôm just saying. And that‚Äôs the case with a lot of these nude beaches is, it bears pointing out, some of these are sanctioned and some of them are just‚Ä¶ Have happened over the years to this extent where, like you said, the local cops are just kind of like, ‚ÄúThey‚Äôre not hurting anybody, this is sort of where they gather,‚Äù and everyone knows that so they can either choose to go there or stay away from there and these places are usually somewhat removed too. Not all the times, but usually. Like I remember with Klondike Beach, it wasn‚Äôt the main beach; you had to kind of work a bit to get there.
JC: Yeah, it‚Äôs almost always, if not remote, as far as just beaches in general go, it is like, say, the northernmost part or the southernmost part, so it‚Äôs secluded in some way, shape, or form.
JC: I read this fascinating article about a nude beach off of Palm Beach called Airforce Beach.
JC: And it was a private island owned by John D. McArthur of the famous John D and Catherine T McArthur Foundation.
CB: NPR fame?
JC: Yeah. And he made his billions selling insurance, I believe, and he, apparently, was a bit of a naturist himself, but he allowed people to use his beach and he also allowed one of the sides of the beach to become a nude beach. And there is a big struggle, because he died as he was signing over, or his son was signing over, the deed of this beach to the county with the stipulation that this part remain nude and he died before the nude part document was signed, so the county took the beach and was like, ‚ÄúNo, we are not gonna sign that other thing.‚Äù
CB: Oh, that‚Äôs a shame.
JC: And there‚Äôs been a struggle ever since. I think it was in the 90s when he died, but it was a lost nude beach. But for a while there, there was apparently something like 5000 people a day coming there to sunbathe nude on the weekends. It was one of America‚Äôs most populated nude beaches and it was all because it was this old rich guy‚Äôs‚Ä¶ He was okay with it.
CB: Did it have it a sign that said, ‚ÄúThese penises are brought to you in part by the John D and Catherine T McArthur foundation‚Äù?
JC: [Laughs] Yeah.
CB: [Laughs] And you push a button and it‚Äôs read by Ira Glass?
CB: Actually, Ira doesn‚Äôt read those, does he?
JC: Can you do it, though? I think everyone wants to hear that.
CB: [Laughs] No, I don‚Äôt think so. I retired my Ira Glass impression.
CB: The other thing with some of these beaches is sometimes they‚Äôre so remote and removed, it‚Äôs just sand and you‚Äôre on your own.
CB: they may not even have trash cans and stuff. Other ones are a little more advanced and they might have activities, it might have a beach‚Ä¶ Not a toilet, but what do you call it? Like a bathhouse?
JC: Right, right.
CB: And a shower or maybe they even serve booze. But it bears pointing out that I th